I told my husband that I wanted a punching bag for Christmas. Swayed by the 33 customer reviews from women who wrote that they loved the prettiness of the bag and way it relieved stress, we selected a hot pink 70-pound Everlast bag with matching boxing gloves from Walmart. Although as a bus
iness executive I brainstorm, critical path, and PowerPoint with the big boys, I was drawn to this girly bag.
Pink sells, and my punching bag experience gave me an idea for a new economic stimulus plan. If more companies offered pink versions of products women don’t usually buy, we could turn this economy around in a couple of months. When girls like something, we spread the word, sell our old gold jewelry, feed our husbands lower grades of beef, and buy larger wallets to accommodate more credit cards. Women to the rescue!
To help the manufacturers get my stimulus plan idea off the ground, I came up with a few products that would be instant hits.
How about Pink Power Gas Treatment? My VW Beetle will glide down the highway with this special fuel additive – created with Absolut Citron, ground up GNC Ultra Mega Vitamin Paks for women, and organic pomegranate concentrate – running through its pipes and toning its cylinders. As a bonus, Pink Power will leave streets smelling like a pomtini. What? That seems like it would work…
Sports fans will knock down doors to buy the Chicky Tail Gate ensemble complete with a pink fondue maker, veggie carriers, cross-shoulder wine cooler slings, and salad shooter. And when not at the stadium, we will use the faux-fur wheelie case as a roomy shopping bag for Macy’s one-day sales.
I will be first in line to score the high-performance BMW R1200P motorcycle in pink sparkle paint and embossed leather seats and saddlebags. The horn will stop traffic blasting Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm from When Harry Met Sally (“Yes! Yes! YES!”). So sexy! I will enjoy the included membership in the Pink Ladies biker club and drive my steel mare to their annual conference in Sedona that features cooking lessons from Jamie Oliver, and a cowgirl-themed gala with a pink mechanical bull named Bobbi. At a low 28-inch seat height, svelte 500-pound dry weight, and cost of $28,000 before buying the matching pink cordura riding suit and helmet ($1,250 and worth every penny), sales of this beauty BMer could catalyze a full economic recovery.
Manufacturers, are you reading this? Pink is like a hypnotic elixir for female consumers that reconnects us with our inner chickiness.
Go pink; see green.